Sometimes we all feel as useful as Tits on a Boar Hog. Boars are males of the pig family. Thus they have no need for tits, but they still have them. Nature put them there as part of the package of being a pig. Then, did nothing with them. They are sort of unused potential.
I am sure there was a time when my wife would have wished I could breast feed our son. When he woke up in the middle of the night, I could check on him. I could change a dirty diaper or adjust his blankets and cuddle him, but often he just wanted to breast feed. My wife was specially equipped for that task.
There are other times I am sure my wife feels I am no more useful than those Tits on a Boar Hog. After I stopped driving, that chore fell to her. We inherited a cabin that is several hours drive from our home. It used to be one long day’s drive. We used to escape on Friday evening and spend the night a few hours into the drive. The next day we would spell each other at the wheel. Now she gets it all. I try to find ways to amuse her and make it less boring. She has at times invited a friend to share the driving.
Today’s near miss
Today we almost had to eat my disaster. I like to cook. We like to eat pancakes together. Usually she will mix that batter while I set the table, make the coffee and fry the bacon. A few weeks ago I found a recipe for Pumpkin Pancakes in the Christian Science Monitor.
I also like pumpkin pies. I have learned how to bake them from fresh pumpkin. I take the left over Jack o’ Lantern and cook it down. Then I scoop it out and blenderize it. We have pumpkin puree in the freezer and fridge.
Today, my wife slept in. I got impatient and after my third cup of coffee decided to make those pumpkin pancakes. Most of the ingredients I could easily identify. Sugar and Flour are obvious. When my wife awoke she found me rummaging through the spice cabinet. Straining to read labels and sniffing likely candidates can get you only so far. My wife’s eyes to the rescue! Pepper pancakes anyone?
The pancakes turned out to be good and filling.
I have not always been so willing to let others help me. In fact I might have said, “Let me do it myself!” That attitude would drive a wedge between us. It might have given her ammunition to throw back at me.
Disability Monster what are you trying to do, heal a marriage that has at times been near the breaking point? I thought you were my enemy, stealing what I had. Now you are giving me something I had longed for but not realized.
Disability Monster, are your trying to be my friend?
Do you have a Disability Monster in your life? Do you know someone who has one? Feel free to comment below or share this with friends.
As All Ways, Seek Joy
Coach …Dr. Dave
Author of the forthcoming book, “Recipes for Lemonade (thriving through disability): Dr. Dave’s Personal Story”
Learn more about how to Dance with a Disability Monster at Dancing with Monsters
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